Double-Dactyls Archive

The Double-Dactyl / Higgledy-Piggledy poem style is a two-stanza verse form that encourages clever / tongue-in-cheek writing, often featuring a made-up word or two and a twist. It gained popularity in the 1960s and reached a peak sometime around the turn of the century. However, many poems are now fading into obscurity, and many have already been lost.

I am scouring the internet and print in an effort to preserve these poems, resulting in this large collection. What you see below are all the poems, from a myriad of different authors, that I am able to present (e.g. without violating copyright).

For an explanation, history, and rules for this poetry style, information on this poetry collection, including copyright info/claims, and entry submissions, please see the companion page, Double-Dactyls Info.

Archive

Tags (incomplete): (all) (uncat) academia argonauts aurelius claudius clinton cs dickinson edison fav greece lewinsky literature meta oedipus physics poison puzzle religion rome roosevelt scifi self tv wasserman

I, Claudius

by Heraklia Aelius

Higgledy-Piggledy
Halting old Claudius
Agrippinilla gave
Mushrooms to snack;

Though dead, in Jacobi,
(Videotechnically)
Rome is remembered, and
Clau-Clau is back!.

Quoted by Roger L. Robison, in collection.

(From "Moralities")

by W. H. Auden

Jiggery-Pokery,
Jove, you’ve insulted the
Feelings of every
Sensitive frog:

What we demand is a
Plenipotentiary
Sovereign, not an in-
-animate log.

Song chorus quoted in article. Partially quoted in Jiggery-pokery (1983 Ed., pg. 117).

[Untitled]

by DB, 1996

Higgledy Piggledy,
Eleanor Roosevelt
Secretly lives in a
Posh old folks' home.

Who would believe that our
First Lady Hillary
Unpreternaturally
Uses the phone?

Quoted in collection of David E. Brahm collected by Joshua W. Burton.

[Untitled]

by DB, 1998

Scandalous, scurrilous,
Monica Lewinsky
Intern-alicious! So
Bubba got fresh:

Offered a (quote-unquote)
"Close staff position" in
Sub-Presidentially
Pressing the flesh.

Quoted in collection of David E. Brahm collected by Joshua W. Burton.

by Joshua W. Burton, 1987

Higgledy, piggledy,
DB from MIT
Visits the preschools in
search of romance.

Doesn't he know that a
Quinvigintarian
Without a lollipop
hasn't a chance?

Quoted in collection of David E. Brahm collected by Joshua W. Burton.

by Joshua W. Burton

Scrambly, dactyly,
LETAR the Mongol once
Built on his _____ a
Two-_____ yurt.

_____ he'd _____ an
African _____; though
Neutered and tame, it was
Very _____.

Scrambly, dactyly,
LETAR the Mongol once
Built on his ARTEL a
Two-TALER yurt.

LATER he'd ALTER an
African RATEL; though
Neutered and tame, it was
Very ALERT.

Fill in the blanks with anagrams of the all-uppercase word. Hover below for answer. Definition of three of the answer words: an 'artel' was a commune, 'taler' was a coin, and 'ratel' is a honey badger.

Quoted in collection and solution of David E. Brahm collected by of Joshua W. Burton.

[Untitled]

by Joshua W. Burton

Stanislaw ARPTEN was
Known as a flasher: all
______, that ______ would
Stand there ______.

Outraged, a ______ had
Sworn to ______ him. He
Staked out an ______ and
Stan was ______ped.

Stanislaw ARPTEN was
Known as a flasher: all
PRETAN, that PANTER would
Stand there ENRAPT.

Outraged, a PARENT had
Sworn to REPANT him. He
Staked out an ARPENT and
Stan was ENTRAPped.

Fill in the blanks with anagrams of the all-uppercase word. Hover below for answer. Definition of three of the answer words: 'pretan' given as 'already tan' (but probably should be 'not tan yet'), 'panter' is one who pants, and 'arpent' is an old French acre. The character appears to be fictional.

Quoted in collection and solution of David E. Brahm collected by of Joshua W. Burton.

[Untitled]

by Joshua W. Burton

SALET Sigurdisson
Read some _____ Viking _____;
Thought he could _____ him
A _____ of _____.

Sinewed and _____, the
_____ of those warriors might
Teach him a lesson, but
Slightly too late.

SALET Sigurdisson
Read some STALE Viking TALES;
Thought he could STEAL him
A STELA of SLATE.

Sinewed and SETAL, the
LEAST of those warriors might
Teach him a lesson, but
Slightly too late.

Fill in the blanks with anagrams of the all-uppercase word. Hover below for answer. Definition of two of the answer words: 'stela' is a carved stone-age slab and 'setal' means 'bristly'. The character appears to be fictional.

Quoted in collection and solution of David E. Brahm collected by of Joshua W. Burton.

[Untitled]

by Joshua W. Burton

ARECT and CRETA once
Sat on a _____, with a
Waiter to _____ their
Meal a la _____.

Short minutes later, their
_____ _____ed; each
Ten-_____ carrot a
_____ of his art.

ARECT and CRETA once
Sat on a CRATE, with a
Waiter to CATER their
Meal a la CARTE.

Short minutes later, their
RECTA REACTed; each
Ten-CARET carrot a
TRACE of his art.

Fill in the blanks with anagrams of the all-uppercase word. Hover below for answer. Comment of how one of the answer words is a stretch: 'caret' ought to be 'carat'.

Quoted in collection and solution of David E. Brahm collected by of Joshua W. Burton.

[Untitled]

by Joshua W. Burton

TREDA the programmer
Worked at her _____; she'd
Debug and _____, seeking
Files to _____.

Evenings, she never was
Much of a _____; her
Life was G-_____, she
Didn't _____ far.

TREDA the programmer
Worked at her TRADE; she'd
Debug and DERAT, seeking
Files to DETAR.

Evenings, she never was
Much of a DATER; her
Life was G-RATED, she
Didn't TREAD far.

Fill in the blanks with anagrams of the all-uppercase word. Hover below for answer. Definition of one of the answer words: to 'derat' is to remove the rats from.

Quoted in collection and solution of David E. Brahm collected by of Joshua W. Burton.

[Untitled]

by Joshua W. Burton

Mother TERESA was
Spotted one ______ -- a
Hot red two-______, with
Fabio ______.

She was a ______: her
Escort ______ed, and
Left the poor ______ to
Cry in his beer.

Mother TERESA was
Spotted one EASTER -- a
Hot red two-SEATER, with
Fabio ASTEER.

She was a TEASER: her
Escort RESEATed, and
Left the poor STAREE to
Cry in his beer.

Fill in the blanks with anagrams of the all-uppercase word. Hover below for answer. Definition of two of the answer words: 'asteer' is sitting there steering and 'staree' is the one who is stared at.

Quoted in collection and solution of David E. Brahm collected by of Joshua W. Burton.

[Untitled]

by Joshua W. Burton

ARIL the backpacker
Once asked a ____ just
How many ____ would
Buy a ____.

Now he is short enough
Cash for his ____, and must
Europass all night by
____ to Nepal.

ARIL the backpacker
Once asked a LIAR just
How many LIRA would
Buy a RIAL.

Now he is short enough
Cash for his LAIR, and must
Europass all night by
RAIL to Nepal.

Quoted in collection and solution of David E. Brahm collected by of Joshua W. Burton.

Stephen Spielberg: a riddle

by Joshua W. Burton and Jim Propp

HIGGELDY-PIGGELDY
Spielberg the wunderkind
resurrects pterosaurs
done in by soot.

Reptiles aloft like some
PIGGLEDY-HIGGLEDY
leave many skeptical:
"'Dactyls, my foot!"

The riddle is to replace "HIGGELDY-PIGGELDY" with a 15-letter word and "PIGGELDY-HIGGELDY" with another 15-letter word that is an anagram of the first, that makes sense in context. The answers are, respectively and with notes, "cinematographer", "megachiropteran" (see: former taxonomical suborder of megabats).

Quoted in the collection of Robin Pemantle. Quoted (slightly differently and also including the answer, probably the 1996 original) in collection of David E. Brahm collected by Joshua W. Burton.

[Untitled]

by Joshua W. Burton and Jim Propp, 1996

Seen on location by
Cinematographers,
Vlad the Impaler left
Cameras kaput.

This Transylvanian
Megachiropteran's
Touch is pedestrian:
`Dactyls? My foot!'

The same words as in the previous riddle are used in this poem, so I have spoilered them here too.

Quoted in collection of David E. Brahm collected by Joshua W. Burton.

Haunted House

by Iphigenia Caecilius

Clinkity-Clankety
Athenodorus, phi-
lospher, purchasing
Cheap real estate,

Faced up to hauntings with
Parapsychology,
Buried the bones--now he's
Lost his roommate.

Pliny writes that Athenodorus rented a house that was cheap for being haunted. Upon staying in it, a ghost led him to a courtyard where an unmarked grave was discovered. The body was reburied properly and the ghost was never heard from again.

Quoted by Roger L. Robison, in collection.

Unwelcome Harbor Guest

by Iphigenia Caecilius, 1998-09-25 at 10:14

Higgledy Piggledy
Emperor Claudius,
Taking delight in at-
tacking a whale--

Made up a new game called
Orcanaumachia;
Chariot fighters in
Rome now seem pale.

Pliny writes that an orca, going after a ship full of hides, got stuck in a harbor. Emperor Claudius had it killed for sport.

Quoted by Roger L. Robison, in collection.

Vesuvial Suicide

by Iphigenia Caecilius, 1998-09-25 at 10:14

Higgledy Piggledy
Pliny the Elderly,
Taking a nap under
Volcanic skies,

What was he thinking? Such
Idiosyncrasy!
Just as well--I suppose
Everyone dies.

Pliny the Elder died, allegedly, after awakening during and fleeing from the year 79 eruption of Mt. Vesuvius.

Quoted by Roger L. Robison.

[Untitled]

by Alex Chafee

by Barrie Collins, 1996-10-21 at 22:40:41 UTC-0700

What a calamity!
Poor Alex Chaffee has
Made the worst error that
He (or she?) can!

Unless I've switched sexes
Since I checked this morning
Physiologically
I'm still a man!

Alex Chaffee assumed Barrie was female, from the name; this verse was composed in response.

From email by Barrie Collins in collection of Alex Chaffee.

by "Cybergeezer"

Higgledy, piggledy,
Admiral Farragut
Vowed as he pondered his
Victories scored,

Melodramatically,
Brandishing sword, not to
Contemplate navals with
Ladies aboard."

From collection of Cybergeezer.

by "Cybergeezer"

Higgledy, piggledy,
First Lady Hillary,
Walking by doorways in
Neighborhoods near,

Noted a curious
Replicability:
Plaques reading "President
Clinton slept here."

From collection of Cybergeezer.

[Untitled]

by "Cybergeezer"

Higgledy, piggledy,
Fixus Umbilicus,
Roman inventor of
Knots, and the sword.

Gynecological
Surgeons pay homage when
They cut and tie an um-
Bilical cord.

Such an individual appears to have been made up by the author.

From collection of Cybergeezer.

by Stephanie Dimpfel, Agatha S. Mallett, and Shane Wilder, 2013-04-28 11:29:30 UTC-0600, revised (by me) later

Higgledy-piggledy
Finals approaching, we
Pray for a miracle,
Brace for the worst.

Study’s prescribable;
Teachers unbribable;
Acing this final, I'll
Come out in first.

Co-written with the above individuals, fellow students at UNM.

[Untitled]

by Mark-Jason Dominus

Higgledy-Piggledy
isn't his favorite—
too many syllables,
not enough length.

Mark-Jason Dominus
can't do them anyway;
metric analysis
isn't his strength.

Quoted in replies to article about double-dactyls.

[Untitled]

by Marc Doyle and Patsy Felmet

Clippety Clappety
August von Wasserman,
Bacteriologist,
Germany's best:

Extracurricular,
Heterosexual,
Overpromiscuous..
Flunked his own test!

Barbara Tepper says she may have edited this one. August von Wassermann developed a test for syphilis; the poem implies (falsely?) that he contracted it too. See also Harriman's poem.

New York Magazine via quote in email by Barbara Tepper in collection of Alex Chaffee.

Small Problem

by Theodore L. Drachman

Higgamus Hoggamus
"Anton Von Leewenhoek
Has a small problem," con-
Fided his wife.

"Microbiology
Doesn't disturb me; his
Microanatomy's
Blighting my life!"

Quoted in collection of Alex Chaffee. Quoted (slightly differently and with title) in collection of David E. Brahm collected by Joshua W. Burton.

by D.E., Published June 1966

What should you do when a
Marjorie Morningstar
Type of young lady
Inclines to refuse?

Quickly revert to the
Pre-ecumenical
Council position on
Guilt-ridden Jews.

From Esquire Magazine, June 1966 (pg. 109).

by David Finley

Munnery funnery
Banking executive
Seeks a companion to
Share in his lot.

Cultured and sensitive
Heterosexual
Sexagenarian
Has a new yacht.

From communication by David Finley, in collection of Alex Chaffee.

[Untitled]

by David Finley

Popery Ropery
Pascal the Jansenist
Sent from the Provinces
Letters quite strong.

"Jesuits bumble," says
Sage of numerical
Triangularity.
"Trinity's wrong."

From communication by David Finley, in collection of Alex Chaffee.

[Untitled]

by David Finley

Railery Veilery
Jean-Baptiste Poqulin
Thinking his namesake was
Overly square

Kept his wise head and no
Dancing girls spurned while he
Pseudonymistically
Wrote as Moliere.

From communication by David Finley, in collection of Alex Chaffee.

[Untitled]

by Angela Firpo, Fall 2002

Ladida Falala
Corax and Tisias
Made up a deal to
win a law suit.

Teacher and student used
Circular arguments
Presuppositionly
Found themselves moot.

Corax taught Law to Tisias, the latter only paying when he actually won a suit. However, Tisias, his training completed, did not bring any suits, so Corax sued him, creating a logical paradox about who should win. See also David Mesher's poem.

Quoted in a class website.

[Untitled]

by Angela Firpo, Fall 2002

Hoggedy Poggedy
Pontifex Maximus
Holy Supremacy
Seated in Rome.

Little does he know that
Potentiality
States heaven exists
On earth alone.

Quoted in a class website.

by D.H., probably Donald Hall or Don Hauptman, Published June 1966

Higgledy-piggledy
Moses Maimonides
Looked at his Talmud and
Said, “We can't lose!”

“Everything finally,
Teleologically,
Turns out all right—at least
Right for the Jews!”

From Esquire Magazine, June 1966 (pg. 109).

Jesenko (Post Doc at UW)

by MH and Joel W. Robbin, 2004

Higglevic(h), Pigglevic(h)!
J. Vu-ka-DIN-o-vic
Said "There is something I
Wish to announce:

Accentuate, please, the
Antepenultimate
Syllable of my last
Name to pronounce."

"YES-en-ko! YES-en-ko!"
Said Vu-ka-DIN-o-vic,
"This is the right way my
First name to say."

"Characteristicly,
Slavic stylisticly,
Tenth Latin letter is
Not said like J."

Quoted in the collection of Joel W. Robbin.

[Untitled]

by Andrew Hackard, 1995-11-03

Graciously, Greciously
Thetis's Peliad
Got Hector's Trojan face
Caught on a wheel;

Later he quietly
Antiheroic'lly
Suffered a fate most be-
Fitting a heel.

"Peliad Achilles" ("Peleus's Achilles"—meaning Achilles was the son of Peleus; the mother was Thetis) was a hero featuring in the Iliad. Achilles ends up killing Trojan prince/champion Hector and desecrating the body by dragging it behind a chariot. In later legends, Achilles is killed by an arrow to the heel, his only vulnerable spot. Note also pun "Greciously".

Quoted in article by Douglass Parker.

[Untitled]

by Andrew Hackard, 1995-11-03

Paxical-Taxical
Xyloid equestrian
Sheltering Danaans
In Ilion;

Later they looted Troy
Pseudoxologically
Proving the truth of poor
Laocoon.

This is about the Trojan horse in the Iliad. "Xyloid" = "wooden", "Danaans" = "Greeks", "Ilion" = "Troy". "Pseudoxologically" perhaps should be "pseudo-zoologically"—i.e. not alive? The Trojans brought the horse, which was presented as an offering but actually contained Greek soldiers, inside the city's defenses, over the objection of Laocoön, who suspects the gift.

Quoted in article by Douglass Parker.

Higgledy Higginson?

by Donald Hall, Published 1967

Higgledy-piggledy
Emily Dickinson
Flew to the cupola
Where she could write:

“Though it’s a bore I am
Heterosexual:
Murder and incest are
Sweetness and light.”

Quoted in Jiggery-pokery (pg. 79). Also quoted (slightly differently) in collection of David E. Brahm collected by Joshua W. Burton.

CLASS CLOWN

by Bill Harriman

Happerlich Clapperlich
August von Wasserman
Clown of the Medical
College of Worms,

Taught a few courses in
Microbiology..
Opened his lectures with,
"Frauen un germs..."

Barbara Tepper says she may have edited this one. See Doyle and Felmet's poem. I cannot confirm Wasserman taught in Worms.

New York Magazine via quote in email by Barbara Tepper in collection of Alex Chaffee.

[Untitled]

by Jennifer Hart, 1996

Higgledy Piggledy
Martin J. Tupperman
Little known scientist,
not quite renowned.

Proved his First Theorem of
Defenestration,
but landed before he could
jot it all down.

Jennifer explains there is no such scientist; it was just made up.

Quoted in email by Jennifer Hart in collection of Alex Chaffee.

[Untitled]

by Jed Hartman, 1997-01-26

Hiffalump-heffalump,
Meteorologists
Issue their forecasts on
Each evening's news.

Much as they'd like to give
Delphic-oracular
Statements, don't bet on the
Weather; you'll lose.

Jed subsequently got a stuffed heffalump.

From an article about double-dactyls.

[Untitled]

by Jed Hartman, 1997-01-26

Higgledy-Piggledy
Hans Christian Andersen
Wrote of a mermaid who
Swam up on shore.

There she became somewhat
Less than amphibious;
Drowned in the sea-foam 'mid
Morals galore.

The Little Mermaid, by Hans Christian Andersen—a mermaid is told that if she cannot win the love of her beloved prince, she will dissolve into sea foam. Ultimately, neither quite happens.

From an article about double-dactyls.

[Untitled]

by Jed Hartman, 1997-01-26

/*
* Higgledy Piggledy,
* Ritchie and Kernighan
* Wrote the definitive
* Book about C.

* If I were grading it,
* Alphanumerically,
* I'd rate the language at
* Least a high B.
*/

The poem is formatted as a comment in a programming language like C, invented by Dennis Ritchie and popularized with Brian Kernighan.

From an article about double-dactyls.

[Untitled]

by Jed Hartman, 1998-05-10

Piggledy-higgledy,
William A. Spooner was
known for his penchant for
mixing things up.

When hungry, the Reverend ate
mobster in lint sauce; when
thirsty, he drank from an
old cuter pup.

William Archibald Spooner, clergyman, is the (likely unfair) namesake of the spoonerism, in which sounds (often the first consonant of two words) are mixed up. Most modern examples are freudian slips, sexual, deliberate, and/or humorous.

From an article about spoonerisms.

by Jed Hartman, 1997-05-11

Huffle-us Snuffle-us
Parasaurolophus
Had a trombone-nose with
Which to call mates,

Proving that studying
Paleontology
Doesn't quite teach you how
Best to get dates.

From an article about double-dactyls.

[Untitled]

by Don Hauptman, 1981-04-20

Higgelus-piggelus,
Father Tertullian
Said, "It's impossible.
Thus, it is true."

To this day, bureaucrats
Characteristically
Follow such reasoning.
What else is new?

Don Hauptman also wrote a rebuttal to a clergyman who took offense at another entry by Alex Vaughn in the contest this was submitted to. More context at source.

From chronicle by Don Hauptman.

[Untitled]

by Don Hauptman and ex-wife

Blasphemy-phlasphemy,
Richard A. Chichester.
Temper thy anger, O
Man of the cloth.

"Turn other cheek," He said,
Epigrammatically.
Would He then bless you for
Waxing so wroth?

Composed in reply to a clergyman offended by an entry by Alex Vaughn to a contest. Hauptman had also entered. More context at source.

From chronicle by Don Hauptman.

Caesar's Camp

by Gerard Hayes, 1995-11-03

Higgledy-Piggledy
Caesar, bisexual,
Busily trimming the
Wick of his lamp,

Sorts his collection of
Homoerotica,
Safe and secure in his
Milit'ry camp.

Julius Caesar had sexual relationships with both men and women, and this was the usual case.

Quoted in article by Douglass Parker.

Paradise Lost, Book V: an Epitome

by Anthony Hecht, Published 1967

Higgledy-piggledy
Archangel Raphael,
Speaking of Satan’s re-
Bellion from God:

“Chap was decidedly
Tergiversational,
Given to lewdness and
Rodomontade.”

Books 5 and 6 of Paradise Lost, epic poem by John Milton. Note: "tergiversational" is being misleading or evasive. "Rodomontade" is boastful talk.

From pg. 34f. and (italicized) on the back cover of Jiggery-pokery. Also quoted (differently) in collection of David E. Brahm collected by Joshua W. Burton.

Sources of Juvenile Crime

by Anthony Hecht, Published 1967

Higgledy-piggledy
Alfred, Lord Tennyson,
Sternly Victorian,
Muttered in hate,

“Shelley’s deplorable
‘Epipsychidion’
Fosters our growing de-
Linquency rate.”

A footnote on "Tennyson" was elided, which presented another poem. "Epipsychidion" was a major poem by Percy Bysshe Shelley, and includes a passage advocating free love. Fellow poet Alfred, Lord Tennyson, had a more conservative mien.

From Jiggery-pokery (pg. 78). Also quoted (slightly differently) in collection of David E. Brahm collected by Joshua W. Burton.

Escape Literature

by Anthony Hecht, Published 1967

Higgledy-piggledy
Baron von Munchausen
Hot for hyperbole
Said, “Listen, babe,

What's with this nebishe
Verisimilitude?
Give me the Burroughs Boys,
William and Abe!”

The following elided note explains:

The Baron, unfamiliar with English, labored under the impression that William Burroughs and Abe Burrows spelled their surnames the same way. Indeed, he may have thought of them as a firm or a team like the Smith, Brooks[,] or Marx brothers.

From Jiggery-pokery (pg. 73).

Down There on a Visit

by Anthony Hecht, Published 1967

Higgledy-piggledy
Gustav von Aschenbach,
Fed to the gullet with
High German joys,

Sought in an atmosphere
Mediterranean
Soft, antinomian
Decadent boys.

In novella Death in Venice, character Gustav von Aschenbach stalks a young boy he finds classically, and later sexually, beautiful.

From Jiggery-pokery (pg. 105). Also quoted (slightly differently) in collection of David E. Brahm collected by Joshua W. Burton.

Handicap

by Anthony Hecht, Published 1967

Higgledy-piggledy
Judas Iscariot,
Cloven of palate, of
Voice insecure,

Mumbler and lisper, was
Hypocoristically
Known to his buddies as
“Jude, the Obscure.”

From Jiggery-pokery (pg. 43). Also quoted (slightly differently) in collection of David E. Brahm collected by Joshua W. Burton.

Nominalism

by Anthony Hecht, Published June 1966 and in 1967

Higgledy-piggledy
Juliet Capulet
Cherished the tenderest
Thoughts of a rose:

“What's in a name?” said she,
Etymologically,
“Save that the Montagues
Stink in God's nose.”

From Esquire Magazine, June 1966 (pg. 109), and from (without italics) Jiggery-pokery (pg. 60). Also quoted (slightly differently) in collection of David E. Brahm collected by Joshua W. Burton.

The Congress of Vienna

by Anthony Hecht, Published June 1966 and in 1967

Higgledy-piggledy
Klemens von Metternich
Whispered to Talleyrand
Over their drinks,

“Schnitzels around here are
Not what they used to be.
Abendlandsuntergang.
Everything stinks.”

The following note attached to "used to be" was elided:

It is clear that Metternich, who, with Kirk, Burke[,] and Hare is the very model of a conservative, in certain moods felt that there was little enough to conserve.

From Jiggery-pokery (pg. 72). Also (slightly differently and italicized) from Esquire Magazine, June 1966 (pg. 109). Also quoted (slightly differently and without title) in collection of David E. Brahm collected by Joshua W. Burton.

Theory of Architecture

by Anthony Hecht, Published 1967

Higgledy-piggledy
Ludwig Mies Van der Rohe
Softly complained to the
Heavenly host,

“Buckminster Fuller says
Dodecahedronals
Carry stress better than
Lintel and post.”

From Jiggery-pokery (pg. 92). Also quoted (slightly differently) in collection of David E. Brahm collected by Joshua W. Burton.

Point of View

by Anthony Hecht, Published June 1966 and in 1967

Higgledy-piggledy
Marcus Aurelius
Guiding his life by a
Stark rule of thumb,

Garnered the nickname of
“Impermeabile”
Meaning both “Stoic,” and,
Possibly, “dumb.”

"Impermeabile pronounced in the Italian manner" (which would be /im.per.meˈa.bi.le/, "eem-perrr-meh-AH-bee-lay"). A similar note in Jiggery-pokery has been elided here.

From Jiggery-pokery (pg. 46f.). Very similarly quoted in Esquire Magazine, June 1966 (pg. 109). Also quoted (slightly differently) in collection of David E. Brahm collected by Joshua W. Burton.

Firmness

by Anthony Hecht, Published 1967

Higgledy-piggledy
Mme. de Maintenon
Shouted, “Up yours!” when ap-
Proached for the rent,

And, in her anger, pro-
Ceeded to demonstrate,
Iconographically,
Just what she meant.

A note attached to "Maintenon" has been elided.

From Jiggery-pokery (pg. 64). Also (slightly differently) quoted in collection of David E. Brahm collected by Joshua W. Burton and in article.

Professionalism

by Anthony Hecht, Published 1967

Higgledy-piggledy,
Quintus Tertullian
Drew on his Rhetoric
With his last breath,

(Sesquipedalian
Valedictorian)
Boring his near ones and
Dear ones to death.

From Jiggery-pokery (pg. 45).

From the Grove Press

by Anthony Hecht, Published 1967

Higgledy-piggledy
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Wroth at Bostonian,
Cowardly hints,

Wrote an unprintable
Epithalamion
Based on a volume of
Japanese prints.

From Jiggery-pokery (pg. 76). Also quoted (slightly differently) in collection of David E. Brahm collected by Joshua W. Burton.

The Russian Soul

by Anthony Hecht, Published 1967

Higgledy-piggledy
Rodya Raskolnikov
Belted two dames with a
Broad-bladed ax.

“I am the wictim of
Misericordia,
Beaten,” said he, “by re-
Ligion and sax.”

An elided footnote on "wictim" explains that the dialect is "Standard Middle Hollywood Central European", not Russian. See also "The Russian Soul II" and "The Russian Soul III".

From Jiggery-pokery (pg. 84). quoted (slightly differently) in collection of David E. Brahm collected by Joshua W. Burton.

Vice

by Anthony Hecht, Published 1967

Higgledy-piggledy
Thomas Stearns Eliot
Wrote dirty limericks
Under the rose,

Using synecdoches,
Paranomasias,
Zeugmas, and rhymes he de-
Plored in his prose.

An elided footnote on "Eliot" listed a reply.

From Jiggery-pokery (pg. 93). Also quoted (slightly differently) in collection of David E. Brahm collected by Joshua W. Burton.

The Glory That Was Rome

by Anthony Hecht, Published 1967

Higgledy-piggledy
Titus Andronicus,
Fitting himself to the
Classical clime,

Covered his belly with
Decalcomanias
Picturing passionate
Sexual crime.

From Jiggery-pokery (pg. 59). quoted (slightly differently) in collection of David E. Brahm collected by Joshua W. Burton.

Confession

by Anthony Hecht, Published June 1966 and in 1967

Shakespeare Double-Dactyled: Romeo and Juliet

by Jan D. Hodge, 2002-02-06 at 20:32:58 ET

Saddest of tragedies--
Juliet Capulet
tumbles in love with fair
Romeo's grace,

but to her sorrow an
irreconcilable
quarrel denies her her
lover's embrace.

Troublesome circumstance--
Romeo Montague,
killing her kinsman in
combat of arms,

finds himself subject to
prosecutorial
fervor and flees from his
Juliet's charms.

Frantic and woebegone,
Romeo's Juliet
hopelessly hoping her
lover to keep,

gets from her chaplain a
pharmacological
wonder that brings on a
death-aping sleep.

Rushing to be with her,
Juliet's Romeo
swallows a poison, be-
lieving her dead.

Waking, she--pitiful
epithalamion!--
joins him in death on that
sorrowful bed.

From an email by Jan.

Shakespeare Double-Dactyled: Richard III

by Jan D. Hodge, 2002-02-06 at 20:32:58 ET

Last of the Yorkist line,
Richard Plantagenet
climbed to the throne on a
mountain of dead.

Humpbacked, he plotted with
Machiavellian
gusto; his motto was
"Off with his head!"

Tewksbury witnessed his
slaughter of Edward, whose
widow thereafter he
took to his bed.

Anyone faulting such
insensitivity
should have known better; 'twas
"Off with his head!"

He had his brother and
then his two nephews all
killed in the Tower, or
so it is said.

Hastings and Stanley, who
ideologically
balked at his crowning, heard
"Off with his head!"

All the queen's kinsmen and
then his 'friend' Buckingham
felt his keen edge as the
treachery spread--

prodigal intra- and
extrafamilial
killings to encores of
"Off with his head!"

Finally England would
brook no more tyranny.
Faced with rebellion, to
Bosworth he fled,

where to his horror he
incomprehensibly
lacked for a horse, and it
cost him his head!

Students of Clio may
raise their objections to
such a vile portrait as
false and absurd.

We simply shrug at the
historiographers,
eagerly taking the
Bard at his word.

Clio is the classic Greek muse of history.

From an email by Jan.

Jack Sprat

by Jan D. Hodge, 2002-02-06 at 20:32:58 ET

Food for the ill-suited
Mr. and Mrs. Sprat
(Jack and Amanda) was
always a strain,

even before a marked
irascibility--
tepid, then virulent--
turned it to pain.

First it was minor things:
ice cream or sherbet, or
whether the tea should be
honeyed or not.

Jack had a palate for
oleomargarine;
Mandy insisted on
butter, bei Gott!

Things became ugly when
Jack rather nastily
sugared the gravyboat
merely to flout

Mandy (who suffered from
hyperglycemia);
she creamed his veggies to
trigger his gout.

Curious spectacle,
watching such enmity
eat at these creatures at
every repast;

hardly a shock when the
gastrointestinal
warfare dissevered the
twosome at last.

Title was stated in text, but not with poem. The author says they were challenged to include the word 'flout', 'gravy', or 'tepid'.

From an email by Jan.

Peter, Peter, pumpkin eater

by Jan D. Hodge, 2002-02-06 at 20:32:58 ET

Pitiful, pitiful!
Peter of Petersham
(He who ate nothing but
pumpkins, you ask?)

faced a bewildering
incapability:
keeping his wife, an im-
possible task.

Driven to desperate
measures, he finally
built her a house from the
shell of a gourd.

Though many questioned its
unsuitability,
it was the best that poor
Pete could afford.

Rather embarrassed by
this strange predicament,
Pete kept his chin up and
swallowed his pride.

Turned out he'd worried quite
unnecessarily;
happiness bloomed once they
settled inside.

From an email by Jan.

Historical Reflections

by John Hollander, Published June 1966 and in 1967

Higgledy-piggledy,
Benjamin Harrison,
Twenty-third President
Was, and, as such,

Served between Clevelands, and
Save for this trivial
Idiosyncracy,
Didn’t do much.

From Jiggery-pokery (pg. 80f.). Also (slightly differently and/or under different or missing titles) quoted Esquire Magazine, June 1966 (pg. 109), quoted in the collection of Robin Pemantle, in the collection of Joel W. Robbin, quoted by Don Hauptman, by Penny (George J. Dance), and in collection of David E. Brahm collected by Joshua W. Burton.

John Hollander

by John Hollander

Higgeldy-piggeldy
schoolteacher Hollanders
mutter and grumble and
cavili and curse

searching for words for the
antepenultimate
line of this light-weight but
intricate verse.

Quoted in the collection of Robin Pemantle and in the collection of Joel W. Robbin.

self reference

by John Hollander

Starting with nonsense words:
("Higgeldy-piggeldy"),
then comes a name (making
line number two);

Somewhere along in the
terminal quatrain, a
didaktyliaios
word and we're through.

Quoted in the collection of Robin Pemantle and (with a different title) in the collection of Joel W. Robbin.

[Untitled]

by John Hollander, Published 1967

Higgledy-piggledy
Alfred, Lord Tennyson
Walked round his garden, in-
Toning his vowels,

Paused, then apologised:
“Dicotyledonous
Beans do the windiest
Things to one’s bowels!”

From Jiggery-pokery (pg. 78), presented with no title in a footnote to another poem. Also quoted (slightly differently) in collection of David E. Brahm collected by Joshua W. Burton.

Last Words

by John Hollander, Published 1967

“Higgledy-piggledy
Andrea Doria
Lives in the name of this
Glorious boat.

As I sit writing these
Non-navigational
Verses, a—CRASH! BANG! BLURP!
GLUB”. . . (end of quote).

From Jiggery-pokery (pg. 57). Also quoted (slightly differently) in collection of David E. Brahm collected by Joshua W. Burton.

The Russian Soul II

by John Hollander, Published 1967

Higgledy-piggledy
Anna Karenina
Went off her feed and just
Couldn’t relax,

Then, quite ignoring the
Unsuitability,
Threw in the sponge and was
Scraped off the tracks.

See also "The Russian Soul" and "The Russian Soul III".

From Jiggery-pokery (pg. 86). quoted (slightly differently) in collection of David E. Brahm collected by Joshua W. Burton.

High Art

by John Hollander, Published 1967

Higgledy-piggledy
Anthony Hollander,
Two-bards-in-one, worked their
Brains to a storm,

Seeking out words for the
Antepenultimate
Line of this dismally
Difficult form.

"Anthony Hollander" is a clear mashup of "Anthony Hecht" and "John Hollander".

From Jiggery-pokery (pg. 112f.). Also quoted (slightly differently and misattributing it as cowritten with Anthony Hecht) in collection of David E. Brahm collected by Joshua W. Burton.

Parents’ Fault

by John Hollander, Published 1967

Higgledy-piggledy,
Ditters von Dittersdorf
Hoped that his symphonies
Really would please;

Caconomasia
Ruined him, though, with a
Name that resembled some
Nervous disease.

There is a mark between the "o" and "r" in "Dittersdorf" that shouldn't be there. I took it for a scanning error, but it occurs in two editions . . .

From Jiggery-pokery (pg. 66). Also quoted in collection of David E. Brahm collected by Joshua W. Burton.

The Lower Criticism

by John Hollander, Published 1967

Higgledy-piggledy
Dorothy Richardson
Wrote a huge book with her
Delicate muse

Where (though I hate to seem
Uncomplimentary)
Nothing much happens and
Nobody screws.

From Jiggery-pokery (pg. 94). Also quoted (slightly differently) in collection of David E. Brahm collected by Joshua W. Burton.

[Untitled]

by John Hollander, Published 1967

Pocketa-pocketa
Ernest Lord Rutherford
Blushed to confess, as he
Stared at the floor:

“Protons are vast, glory
Infinitesimal;
Sharing one's fame with a
Dane is a bore!”

Pun can be clarified by substituting "bore" with "Bohr", as in the second source.

From Jiggery-pokery (pg. 10), with no title. Also quoted (differently) in collection of David E. Brahm collected by Joshua W. Burton.

Danish Wit

by John Hollander, Published June 1966 and in 1967

Higgledy-piggledy
Franklin D. Roosevelt
High over Jutland flew
In from the East;

“Well,” Quipped a Minister
Plenipotentiary,
“Something is Groton in
Denmark, at least!”

From Jiggery-pokery (pg. 89). Also (slightly differently) quoted in Esquire Magazine, June 1966 (pg. 109) and in collection of David E. Brahm collected by Joshua W. Burton.

Like a Cold Shower

by John Hollander, Published 1967

Higgledy-piggledy
Hans Christian Andersen
Sat with some tow-headed
Lads on a shelf,

Mythopoetically
Hoping that fairy-tales
Aided in keeping his
Hans to himself.

From Jiggery-pokery (pg. 77). Also quoted (slightly differently) in collection of David E. Brahm collected by Joshua W. Burton.

Heliogabalus

by John Hollander, Published June 1966 and in 1967

Higgledy-piggledy
Heliogabalus
Lurched through the Forum, his
Bottom a-wag,

Vainly pretending to
Gynaecological
Problems beneath his Im-
Perial drag.

A note in the original, an extended quote about the "inexpressible infamy" of Rome, has been elided.

From Jiggery-pokery (pg. 48). Also quoted From (italicized and under the title "... Without A Program") in Esquire Magazine, June 1966 (pg. 109) and quoted (slightly differently) in collection of David E. Brahm collected by Joshua W. Burton.

Gourmet

by John Hollander, Published 1967

Higgledy-piggledy
Herod Antipater
After the Dance, had the
Lunch-table set:

“Balletomania,
Bah! I just wanted a
Nice dish of tête de pro-
Phète, vinaigrette.”

From Jiggery-pokery (pg. 42). Also quoted (slightly differently) in collection of David E. Brahm collected by Joshua W. Burton.

Arbiter Elegantiae

by John Hollander, Published 1967

Higgledy-piggledy
J. Press and Company
Gave me the darkest of
Corporate looks,

Writing me off, when I
Passed by their shop, as some
Tatterdemalion
Trousered by Brooks.

From Jiggery-pokery (pg. 96). Also quoted (slightly differently) in collection of David E. Brahm collected by Joshua W. Burton.

No Foundation

by John Hollander, Published 1967

Higgledy-piggledy,
John Simon Guggenheim,
Honored wherever the
Muses collect,

Save in the studies (like
Mine) which have suffered his
Unjustifiable,
Shocking neglect.

From Jiggery-pokery (pg. 106). Also quoted (slightly differently) in collection of David E. Brahm collected by Joshua W. Burton.

The Russian Soul III

by John Hollander, Published 1967

Higgledy-piggledy
Joseph Djugashvili
Showed, with his pipe and his
Flowing Moustache,

Anti-revisionist
Irritability,
Making some comrades break
Out in a rash.

See also "The Russian Soul" and "The Russian Soul II".

From Jiggery-pokery (pg. 88). quoted (slightly differently) in collection of David E. Brahm collected by Joshua W. Burton.

[Untitled]

by John Hollander, Published 1967

Higgledy-piggledy
Josephine Bonaparte,
Painted by Prud’hon with
Serious mien:

Sorrow? Oh, hardly. Just
Cosmetological
Prudence (her teeth were a
Carious green.)

The note "Historical." has been elided from "green".

From Jiggeyr-Pokery (pg. 69). Also quoted (slightly differently) in collection of David E. Brahm collected by Joshua W. Burton.

Wrath

by John Hollander, Published 1967

Higgledy-piggledy
Ludwig van Beethoven
Scornful of cheer, and of
Hearing forlorn,

Spitefully hissing, sat
Writing unplayable
Pianissississimo
Notes for the horn.

A note attached to "Scornful of cheer" has been elided, which pointed to another poem as more evidence.

From Jiggery-pokery (pg. 70). Also quoted (slightly differently) in collection of David E. Brahm collected by Joshua W. Burton.

When in Isenheim . . .

by John Hollander, Published 1967

Higgledy-piggledy
Matthias Grünewald
Got a commission for
Something in Oils.

(Dermatological
Clinics need altars) so
Jesus got measles and
Pustulent boils.

From Jiggery-pokery (pg. 55). Also quoted (slightly differently) in collection of David E. Brahm collected by Joshua W. Burton.

Trou Bad!

by John Hollander, Published 1967

Higgledy-piggledy
Richard Plantagenet
Sailed off for France, full of
Oedipal scorn:

“Erotogenesis
Can't be all mythic, if
Mother still makes it with
Bertrand de Born.”

A note by Ezra Pound has been elided.

From Jiggery-pokery (pg. 53). Also quoted (slightly differently) in collection of David E. Brahm collected by Joshua W. Burton.

A Far, Far Better World

by John Hollander, Published 1967

Higgledy-piggledy
Tristram of Lyonesse
Gave up the ghost to la
Chanson des Anges,

Cheating, at once, of his
Corporeality,
Ysolt Mains-blanches; also
Ysolt, Blancmange.

A note, clarifying the last line refers to a different "Ysolt", has been elided.

From Jiggery-pokery (pg. 49). Also quoted (slightly differently) in collection of David E. Brahm collected by Joshua W. Burton.

Plagiarism

by John Hollander, Published 1967

Higgledy-piggledy,
Wolfram von Eschenbach
Chanted aloud (while we
Sat on a bench)

Tedious persiflage,
Stolen (as shown by the
Urquellenforschungen)
All from the French.

The following note, attached to "Stolen", has been elided:

The Regents are in complete agreement on this, and one of them is particularly delighted with “persiflage.”

From Jiggery-pokery (pg. 54). Also quoted (slightly differently) in collection of David E. Brahm collected by Joshua W. Burton.

No Play

by John Hollander, Published 1967

Jacobin-Jacobin
Citizen Robespierre
Died on the guillotine
Cursing the day,

Leaving his rep up to
Historiography,
Sparing us yet a third
Bad German play.

From Jiggery-pokery (pg. 68). Also quoted (slightly differently) in collection of David E. Brahm collected by Joshua W. Burton.

Letto Matrimoniale

by John Hollander, Published 1967

Jiggery-pokery
President Kennedy
Chose, in the White House,
A Canopied bed—

One that was used by his
Philoprogenitive
Grandfather Bobby and
Great-uncle Ted.

From Jiggery-pokery (pg. 108). Also quoted (slightly differently) in collection of David E. Brahm collected by Joshua W. Burton.

[Untitled]

by Rich Holmes

Poetry schmoetry
Ms Louise Halperin
Now writes her letters in
Poetic verse

If my reply were in
Hexadecameter
It would be longer, but
Certainly worse

This was a reply postcard to Louise Halperin, who had written a letter entirely in verse.

From Rich Holmes.

The German Romantics I

by Richard Howard, Published 1967

Higgledy-piggledy
Friedrich von Hardenberg
Smiled, as Novalis, when
Sophie turned dank,

Parachromatical
Mix-ups accounted for
Blue mignonette and a
Mariage blanc.

The following note attached to the last line was elided:

Something of a cheat, requiring a French pronunciation of “mariage” and an English one of “blanc.” Clearly the only solution is to read the whole in as thick a German accent as possible, preferably that of the South.

Quoted in Jiggery-pokery (pg. 71). quoted (slightly differently) in collection of David E. Brahm collected by Joshua W. Burton.

The German Romantics II

by Richard Howard, Published 1967

Higgledy-piggledy
Joseph von Eichendorff
Translated Calderòn,
Relished his theme:

Constant commitment to
Deutscheswaldeinsamkeit
Must have convinced him that
Life is a dream.

Quoted in Jiggery-pokery (pg. 74f.). Also quoted (slightly differently) in collection of David E. Brahm collected by Joshua W. Burton.

The German Romantics III

by Richard Howard, Published 1967

Higgledy-piggledy
Hugo von Hofmannsthal
Mused on the day of his
Son’s suicide:

“Surely a kind of ob-
Scure mystic sympathy—
Hapsburgersschicksalslied—
Calls me,” and died.

Quoted in Jiggery-pokery (pg. 90). Also quoted (slightly differently) in collection of David E. Brahm collected by Joshua W. Burton.

[Untitled]

by Richard Howard, Published 1967

Higgledy-piggledy
Mendelssohn-Bartholdy
Wavered from Ossian to
Shakespeare to Bach;

Doubtless a form of con-
Version hysteria
Conned this poor Jew to the
Lutheran crock.

Quoted in Jiggery-pokery (pg. 29) with no title as an example of problematic hyphenation. Also quoted (with different punctuation) in collection of David E. Brahm collected by Joshua W. Burton.

Inheritance

by Eva Jaksch, 1995-11-03

Higgledy-Piggledy
Gay Caius Julius.
Tribune sojourning a
Long way from home,

Seeking distraction in
Nicomedophily,
Earned with his service a
Province for Rome.

Quoted in article by Douglass Parker, quoted by Penny (George J. Dance). Also (lost) in collection of Roger L. Robison.

F.D.R.

by Frances Kandl, 1994

Higgeldy-Piggeldy
Franklin D. Roosevelt,
fiscal magician,
unrivaled, as yet,

Unmathematically
multiplied nothing by
something and - presto - we
got out of debt.

Quoted in the collection of Robin Pemantle and in the collection of Joel W. Robbin.

Freud

by Frances Kandl, 1994

Higgeldy-Piggeldy
Sigmund of Freiburg, our
urpsychotherapist
taught us that sex

Rightly regarded meant
monomaniacally
seeing a phallus in
all things convex.

Barbara Tepper offered her own version of this one.

Quoted in the collection of Robin Pemantle and in the collection of Joel W. Robbin.

Exxon Valdez

by Rev. Hugh Ryunyo King, 1998-03-27 at 17:50

Yo ho ho Yo ho ho
Captain Joe Hazelwood,
Known as the head of a
Wild drunken band.

Now they are asking him
Exxoneratingly,
Where were you, sir, when the
Ship hit the sand?

From and email by King, in collection of Alex Chaffee.

[Untitled]

by Nola Nadine Krosch, 1997-09-11

Chicken shit, Chicken shit,
President Richard M.
Nixon could always be
Trusted to "cook".

Asked about problems in
Tones unambiguous,
Loudly and proudly said,
"I'm not a crook."

[Untitled]

by Nola Nadine Krosch, 1997-09-12

Higgamus Hoggamus
Theodore Roosevelt
utilized carrots to
whip up his team.

When they didn't hurry he
commented sensibly
"Better to use a big
stick, it would seem."

by Agatha S. Mallett, 2011-10-03 12:13:06 UTC-0600, revised later

Stephanie Meyer writes
Edward, the vampire
Swooning a teenager,
Lacking a cape.

Constantly making out,
That’s what it’s all about?
Why don’t you care that it’s
Legally rape?

In the Twilight novel series, the main character is a 17-year-old girl in an innuendo-laden-but-maybe-not-immediately-sexual relationship with a plainclothes vampire.

Submitted to "Noticias", a dorm newsletter at UNM.

Jesus

by Agatha S. Mallett, 2012-04-15 at 22:47:45 UTC-0600, revised later

“Jesus of Nazareth,
What can I help you with?”
Cross-wise I’m nailed, so my
Day’s going swell.”

“Be optimistic—it’s
monotheistic! Christ,
Tell everybody they’re
Goin’ to hell!”

Submitted to "Noticias", a dorm newsletter at UNM.

College Bureaucracy

by Agatha S. Mallett, 2012-04-22 at 23:53:50 UTC-0600, revised later

Higgledy-piggledy
College bureaucracy
What does it take to get
Signed up for class?

Score (less two) credit bound
Campus-wide runaround
Too many heads are just
Shoved up an ass.

Submitted to "Noticias", a dorm newsletter at UNM.

Soccer

by Agatha S. Mallett, 2012-04-29 20:52:50 UTC-0600, revised later

Higgebub-piggledub
Manchester’s Football Club
Latics’ resurgence is
Viewed to be fluke.

£800 million
Versus . . . ambition? These
Powerplays ’cross the pond
Cause me to puke.

One of my college roommates was really into soccer. I aggressively didn't (and don't) care. Also I called it "Soccer" instead of "Football" as a troll.

Submitted to "Noticias", a dorm newsletter at UNM.

Wigwams

by Agatha S. Mallett, 2012-04-29 20:52:50 at UTC-0600, revised later

Higgledy-piggledy
Wigwam Menominee
Natively living is
Most apropos.

Antihistorical,
Technicalogical
Gadgets make living here
Easy, you know?

Submitted to "Noticias", a dorm newsletter at UNM.

Firefly

by Agatha S. Mallett, Earlist record 2013-03-24 20:01 PT, revised later

Firefly, firefly,
’renity in the sky.
Fleeing from Reavers is
Rather astute.

Girl’s schizophrenia.
Paranoid mania,
Wash killed by spearpoint just
Doesn’t compute.

Firefly II

by Agatha S. Mallett, Earlist record 2013-03-24 20:03 PT, revised later

Higgledy-piggledy
Medicine stolen; bye!
“Jayne you big traitor, just
Whom did you call?!”

Simon quixotically,
River’s lobotomy,
Searching in hospitals
Takes lots of gall.

Good Omens

by Agatha S. Mallett, Earlist record 2013-03-24 19:59 PT, revised later

Higgledy-piggledy
Book with some prophecies.
“Where is the anti-Christ?”
“Why do you ask?”

Crowley, Aziraphale,
Points about dolphin-whales,
Stopping Apocalypse
Is your Nice task.

This is positively dripping with allusions to Good Omens, a book that was very popular in the honors dorm at my undergrad.

Helicopter

by Agatha S. Mallett, 2013-04-28 11:29:30 UTC-0600, revised later

Higgledy-piggledy
Hating a ’copter that
Flies during midnight all
Over the dorm.

Antiacoustical!
Screw ‘mission-critical’!
Piloting noise-buckets
Takes lots of gorm.

Across the street from Hokona Zia dorm at UNM, there is a hospital; this is (rather uncharitable) grousing about the noise its helicopter makes.

Submitted to "Noticias", a dorm newsletter at UNM.

Higgs Boson

by Agatha S. Mallett, Earliest record 2013-04-28 11:29:30 UTC-0600, revised later

Higgsledy-piggsledy
Z-five discovery:
Coupling bosonically—
Mass is complete!

Higgs, supersymmetry,
Franco-Swiss LHC;
Finding this particle’s
Pleasing for Pete.

Composed on the occasion of the discovery of the Higgs Boson, at some release where it was announced.

Submitted to "Noticias", a dorm newsletter at UNM.

Black Cauldron

by Agatha S. Mallett, 2013-08-05 11:28 PT, revised later

Higgledy-piggledy
Cauldron demonic, black,
Entry deactivates
. . . leave?—I have doubts.

—Dumb undeniably,
Since topologically,
It’s flat—there’s no telling
Inside from out!

In The Chronicles of Prydain, the black cauldron is a magical artifact that converts the dead into undead minions. However, if a living soul enters, it dies and the cauldron is destroyed. However, as the poem suggests, the cauldron is homeomorphic to a plane.

Mountain Shadow

by Agatha S. Mallett, 2016-02-10 13:42:14 UTC-0700, revised later

Higgledy-piggledy,
Amber soliloquy:
Sunrise’s shadow is
Cast on the clouds.

Cumulonimbical
Mountain matutinal—
Beauty so early should
Not be allowed.

Composed in response to a picture my mom took during her morning commute on that day. My guess is it was about 45°34'13.89"N 123° 2'45.56"W looking east at Mt. Hood.

From an email.

On Creating the Double-Dactyls Archive

by Agatha S. Mallett, Written 2023-06-06 at 18:41 PT, revised later

Philo-dactylly,
Agatha, programmer,
Wrote up some scripts for to
Download some prose.

Database-potpourri
Somnambulistic, she
Manual grunt-worked cor-
-recting her rows.

To collect poems from the (defunct) collection of Roger L. Robison, I wrote a web scraper to download stuff. However, the data quality was quite poor, and required lots of manual fixing.

From a Discord post.

Fitting in an Apartment

by Agatha S. Mallett, 2023-06-08 at 11:16 PT, revised later

Higgledy-piggledy,
Jtiai the Finlander:
Moving apartments, he
Pondered his stuff.

“Why not Procrustian
Discard-downsizingly
Packing-efficiently?
You’ve got enough.”

Composed on a Discord server at user "jtiai" (which I'm choosing to pronounce, probably incorrectly, as "JAY-tai"), who was checking if his stuff would fit into a new apartment.

From a Discord post.

Relay Checking

by Agatha S. Mallett, 2023-06-08 at 18:00 PT, revised later

Clickity-clackity
Brenda of Erickson
Surveys electrical
Drawings unclear.

Deadlines approaching, she
Chaparonistically
Logical-relay work
Re-engineers.

My mom works as an aircraft engineer at a company afiliated with the mentioned.

From a Discord post.

Shelley

by Agatha S. Mallett, Written 2023-06-10 at 15:12 PT, revised later

Higgledy-piggledy
Percy Bysshe Shelley, the
Free-loving atheists’
Spirited knife—

Sailing italically
Mari-dramatically
Perished ironically
(“Triumph of Life”).

Percy Bysshe Shelley, melodramatic, free-loving, atheist, died at sea in a storm, leaving his work "Triumph of Life" unfinished.

A Fire Upon the Deep

by Agatha S. Mallett, 2017-06-01 at 07:15:44 UTC, revised later

Higgledy-piggledy
Cosmic catastrophe:
Godshattered hero(-ex)
Straumli arrests.

Call it “perversion”: ga-
-lactic aversion to
simple mis-steps such as
omnicide zest.

(See A Fire Upon the Deep.)

From a Google+ post.

It Felt More Like Three Years

by Agatha S. Mallett, 2024-06-02 at 09:44 PT

Higgledy-piggledy
Lucien, graduate:
Painfully Muddy, took
Physics and Dance.

Smog-stained, grade-conscious, they
Hyperscholastically
Pondered attributing
"Five 'C's" a chance.

My younger sibling, Lucien (they/them), graduated from Harvey Mudd College, and won't shut up about it. (They only spent three years on-campus, due to the pandemic.)

HOT STUFF

by Herb Martinson and N. Tomsczyk

Jiggeroff Popperoff
Vyacheslav Molotov
Wooed a young coed at
Leningrad U.

With blini and vodka and
Trinitrotoluene,
They discussed Marx over
Cocktails for two.

Barbara Tepper says she may have edited this one.

New York Magazine via quote in email by Barbara Tepper in collection of Alex Chaffee.

Aeneas Reductus, or The Epick Taym'd

by Bruce A. McMenomy, 1995

I.
Arma virumque ca-
nobody's suffered as
pious Aeneas, the
Trojan, has done:

so he tells Dido, that
Carthagenetical
Tyrian princess and
bundle of fun.

II.
"Arma virumque, ca-
caphonous noises came
down through the floor of a
large wooden horse;

that night all Hellas broke
pyromaniacally
loose, wrecking Troy, sealing
Helen's divorce.

III.
"Arma virumque, ca-
lamitous ruin has
followed me everywhere,
run me to ground;

now I, across the whole
Mediterranean,
find myself searching for
something to found."

IV.
Arma virumque, Ca-
lypso had no better
luck when she tried to keep
arms on her man;

Dido does dire deeds
autophoneutical
(Suicide's shorter, but
it wouldn't scan).

V.
Arma virumque, ca-
priciously Juno has
fired up the blighters to
burn all the ships;

pious Aeneas says
(labiorigidly):
"Build some new galleys, guys:
then - watch your slips."

VI.
Arma virumque, ca-
no one expects to get
out when they once have gone
down into hell;

heroes, though, packing a
patrioracular
promise, appear to come
through it quite well.

VII.
Arma virumque, ca-
tastrophe hatches to
cancel the wedding - a
hitch in the plan:

Turnus, the mettlesome
Rutuliprincipal
lad, grows so mad as to
nettle our man.

VIII.
Arma virumque, ca-
nonical topics: a
good man, Evander, now
enters the field;

Venus grows fretful, and
matriprotectively
calling on Vulcan, buys
sonny a shield.

IX.
Arma virumque, can-
tankerous Turnus tries
storming the camp -- hopes to
clean up the plains;

Nisus and Co., caught in
noctiprogredient
slaughters, are slaughtered in
turn for their pains.

X.
Arma virumque, (ca-
tharsis unbounded!)
young Pallas, Evander's son
buys it, poor pup;

Venus's son fixes
responsibility --
sees that the prime bounder's
number is up.

XI.
Arma virumque, Ca-
milla the Volscian
makes for the Latins a
splendid last stand;

leaving a legacy
axiomatical:
"Trust no Etruscan who's
eyeing your land."

XII.
Arma virumque: can
'neas put Pallas's
fall from his mind, sweeten
bitter with verse? --

"But that reminds me..." -- so,
semperspontaneous,
he does to Turnus two
turns for the worse.

Quoted by Roger L. Robison via Gnaeus Cassius (probable pseudonym), in collection.

LIBERACE

by Dick Menkes, 1998-07-01 at 09:59

Fiddle Dee Diddle, De
Great Liberace was
Sorely in need of
A given first name.

Something flamboyant, like
"Mo pianissimo"
Might have been chosen to
Highlight his fame.

Appears to refer to the non-American given name of Władziu Liberace, piano-playing entertainer. See also Barbara Tepper's reply.

Quoted in email by Barbara Tepper, in collection of Alex Chaffee.

THE MASSACRE OF ST. BARTHOLOMEW

by Dick Menkes

Bankapile Francopohile
Catherine de Medici
Slaughtered the Huguenots
As was her wont.

Authorized tortures like
Ganglionectomies;
"They had some nerve," she said,
"Now they sure don't."

Quoted in email by Barbara Tepper, in collection of Alex Chaffee.

THE GOSPEL

by Dick Menkes

Blubberboo blabberboo
Sharpton Al Reverend
Claiming, bass ackwardly,
"Others distort."

Join this revisionist
Ubiquitarian..
Don't be surprised if you
Wind up in court.

Quoted in email by Barbara Tepper, in collection of Alex Chaffee.

Neo-Classic

by James Merrill, Published 1967

Higgledy-piggledy
Jacqueline Kennedy
Went back to Hydra and
Found it a mess—

Neon lights, discotheques . . .
“Landlord, what's happening?”
“’Ανθρωπιστήκαμϵ
Go home, U.S.”

An elided note on the second-to-last line (latinized: "Anthropistikame") declares it means roughly "We have become human beings!"

Quoted in Jiggery-pokery (pg. 107). Also quoted (somewhat differently) in collection of David E. Brahm collected by Joshua W. Burton.

Above All That?

by James Merrill, Published 1967

Higgledy-piggledy
Mary of Magdala
Said to the dolorous
Mother of God:

“Parthenogenesis
I for one left to the
Simple amoeba or
Gasteropod.”

Quoted in Jiggery-pokery (pg. 44). Also quoted (slightly differently) in collection of David E. Brahm collected by Joshua W. Burton.

[Untitled]

by David Mesher, Fall 2002

Higgeldy piggeldy
Uruk's King Gilgamesh—
unending life without
death is his quest.

His story's still read by
Assyriologists—
cuneiformed fate that's
ironic at best.

Quoted in a class website.

[Untitled]

by David Mesher, Fall 2002

Akeda-shmakeda
Isaac ben Abraham,
bound on Moriah by
Dad, could not squirm.

If that tale doesn't end
infanticidally,
why's it just Abe who is
said to return?

Quoted in a class website.

by Jim Moskowitz

Boom-chucka Boom-chucka
Susan Ivanova
Second banana on
Babylon 5

Known for her prophecies
Eschatological:
"No one gets out of this
Station alive!"

Quoted in an article about double-dactyls.

[Untitled]

by Jim Moskowitz

Higgledy-Piggledy
Douglas R. Hofstadter
Went to his editors
Asked for time off:

"I'll never finish this
Self-repetitiousness!
Higgledy-Piggledy
Douglas R. Hofstadter

The first two lines are the same as the last two lines. As formatted in the source, they start another instance of the poem, making it "infinitely long". Hofstadter is famous for Gödel, Escher, Bach: An Eternal Golden Braid whose "strange loop" concept this poem no-doubt was intended to evoke.

Quoted in an article about poems.

Classics I: Oedipus

by Joan Munkacsi

Higgledy-piggledy
Oedipus Tyrannos
murdered his father, used
mama for sex.

This mad debauch, not so
incomprehensibly,
left poor Jocasta and
Oedipus Wrecks.

See also "Tact" and "Classics III: After the Trojan War" collected with this by Pemantle (the former under the title "Classics II: Anthony and Cleopatra").

Quoted in the collection of Robin Pemantle. Quoted and in the collection of Joel W. Robbin.

Anna Karenina

by Paul Murray (Games Magazine), 1987

Higgelvich Piggelvich
Anna Karenina
Russian romanticist
cracked under strain:

impetuosity
caused her to tragically,
melodramatically
catch the next train.

Quoted in the collection of Robin Pemantle and in the collection of Joel W. Robbin.

Friends of Bill

by Prof. Diana C. Mutz, 1994

Higgeldy Piggeldy
beltway insiderdom
names drop confetti-like
over DC

Machiavellian
self-immolation means
all are defined by who's
FOH/B

Prof. Mutz "wrote it after coming back from a meeting with politicians in DC where I briefed them on public opinion. [...] Needless to say, I was turned off by the beltway insiderdom!" There was constant name-dropping and seeking power through association—wherefore "FOH/B", an acronym for "Friends of Hillary/Bill" (the first lady and president at the time).

Quoted in the collection of Robin Pemantle and in the collection of Joel W. Robbin.

AKA Messalina

by Douglass Parker

Whammity-Bammity
Lusty Valeria,
Finding her princeps'
Capacity mere,

Knew she could make it as
Paraprofessional,
Proved to all comers an
Apt volunteer.

Quoted by Roger L. Robison, vis Iphigenia Caecilius, (incorrectly linked) in collection.

R. I. P.

by Douglass Parker, June 1996

Vale

by Paul Pascal, Published 1967

Pocketa, pocketa,
Bard of ill omen, I
Hereby renounce the
Poetical life.

I've been forgetting my
Altertumswissenschaft,
Losing my sleep, and neg-
Lecting my wife.

An elided note on "Bard of ill omen" presumes it vocatively addressed to Hecht, and decalres it an exception to the rule about double-dactylic names "because of the lovely echo of Poe."

Quoted in Jiggery-pokery (pg. 111). Also quoted (slightly differently) in collection of David E. Brahm collected by Joshua W. Burton.

Classics III: After the Trojan War

by Robin Pemantle, 1987

[Untitled]

by Robin Pemantle, 1989

Microwaves, macrowaves,
Particle physicists
Measuring cosmic re-
sidual heat.

Omnidirectional
Homogeneity
Makes supersymmetry
Look awfully neat.

See also a subsequent work, "cosmic background radiation, Smoot's contribution".

Quoted in collection of David E. Brahm collected by Joshua W. Burton. Also quoted (differently) in collection of Robin Pemantle and collection of Joel W. Robbin.

minimal surfaces

by Robin Pemantle, 1993

Higgeldy Piggeldy
minimal surfaces:
Gaussian curvature
bearing no slope.

Instances spanning an
isoperimeter
can be constructed
with water and soap.

From the collection of Robin Pemantle, also quoted in the collection of Joel W. Robbin.

boring colloquia

by Robin Pemantle, 1994

Higgeldy piggeldy
boring colloquia:
incomprehensible
gobbledy-gook.

Second to nothing in
soporificity,
except for, possibly,
reading the book.

From the collection of Robin Pemantle. Also quoted and in the collection of Joel W. Robbin.

cosmic background radiation, Smoot's contribution

by Robin Pemantle, 1994

Higgeldy Piggeldy
Berkeley cosmologist,
also a unit of
measurement, Smoot,

found microscopical
anisotropical
noises which caused him his
own horn to toot.

See also a prior work, "cosmic background radiation".

From the collection of Robin Pemantle, also quoted in the collection of Joel W. Robbin. Quoted (with no title and slightly differently) in collection of David E. Brahm collected by Joshua W. Burton.

musicotherapy

by Robin Pemantle, 1994

Higgeldy-Piggeldy
"Musicotherapy"
new-age psychiatry
for the effete;

Best known for being a
hexasyllabical
word in which none of the
letters repeat.

From the collection of Robin Pemantle, also quoted in the collection of Joel W. Robbin.

Nabokov

by Robin Pemantle, 1994

Higgeldy-Piggeldy
Vladimir Nabokov
twentieth-century
master of wit

Altered forever the
face of American
heterosexual
pedophile lit. .

Quoted in the collection of Robin Pemantle and in the collection of Joel W. Robbin.

new-age medicine

by Robin Pemantle, 1994

Higgeldy Piggeldy
neo-aquarian
witch-doctors know what a
client expects:

non-pharmaceutical
homeopathical
remdies based on pla-
cebo effects.

From the collection of Robin Pemantle, also quoted in the collection of Joel W. Robbin.

Sir Arthur

by Robin Pemantle, 1994

Higgeldy-Piggeldy
Gilbert & Sullivan,
musical satirists,
hardly sublime,

Unhesitatingly
would have approved of their
names being used in this
ludicrous rhyme.

From the collection of Robin Pemantle, also quoted in the collection of Joel W. Robbin.

Stephen J. Gould

by Robin Pemantle, 1994

Higgeldy Piggeldy
heterodoxical
paleontologist
Stephen J. Gould,

iconoclastically
trumpeted evidence
countering Darwin, but
no one was fooled.

From the collection of Robin Pemantle, also quoted in the collection of Joel W. Robbin.

[Untitled]

by Robin Pemantle, 1995

Chirally, wirily,
Stereochemistry
Left-handed isomers
Built to request;

Antinutritional
Oleomargarine:
Good for a lubricant,
Just don't ingest.

Quoted in collection of David E. Brahm collected by Joshua W. Burton. Also from (differently, perhaps earlier version) in collection of Robin Pemantle, also quoted in the collection of Joel W. Robbin.

blue-tongued skink

by Robin Pemantle, 1995

Higgeldy Piggeldy
T. Intermedia
genuine blue-tongued Tas-
manian skink:

Vomero-nasally
he can identify
olefactorily
more than you think.

From the collection of Robin Pemantle, also quoted in the collection of Joel W. Robbin.

Heaven's Gate

by Robin Pemantle, 1997

Higgeldy Piggeldy
Heaven's Gate, Heaven's Gate:
antemillenial
cult suicide.

Prognosticators of
coming apocalypse?
No, just some freeloaders
hitching a ride.

From the collection of Robin Pemantle, also quoted in the collection of Joel W. Robbin.

Belle of Amherst

by Keith Peterson, 1987

Higgeldy Piggeldy
Emily Dickinson
never lets intellect
go to her head:

"What do I care about
marketability?
Royalties do you no
good when you're dead."

Quoted in the collection of Robin Pemantle.

Saccharine poetry

by Keith Peterson, 1987

Higgeldy Piggeldy
Alfred, Lord Tennyson,
makes an extremely ef-
fective vaccine.

After a shot of his
sentimentality,
try to emote and you'll
see what I mean.

Quoted in the collection of Robin Pemantle.

by Jenny Jo Reinhart, 1998-05-11 at 02:15

Rhapsody, Rhapsody,
Frederick Mercury
Radio Ga-Ga and
Leader of Queen,

Highlander Soundtracker,
Rock-band composer, Im-
munodeficiently
Exited Scene.

From email by Jenny Jo Reinhart, in collection of Alex Chaffee.

Anosov does not imply infinitesimal ergodicity

by Joel W. Robbin, 2006 (?)

Infinitesimal
H-Ergodicity
Seems an immediate
Consequence of

Hades' Hound

by Roger L. Robison

Higgledy-Piggledy
Three-headed Cerberus
Sleeps in a den on the
Shore of the Styx;

Shades enter freely, but
Egress-beseechingly,
Find him more vicious; the
Answer is nix.

The link should have pointed to "Hercules' Twelfth Labor".

From Roger L. Robison, as a different poem in collection.

Hamilcar Barca's Son

by Roger L. Robison

Higgledy-Piggledy
General Hannibal,
"Favor of Baal" his
Name indicates,

Vowed to his father a
Pro-Carthaginian
Warfare with Rome for as
Long as it takes.

From a collection of Roger L. Robison and (lost) in another.

Head Honcho

by Roger L. Robison

Higgledy-Piggledy
Pontifex Maximus,
"Builder of bridges" in
Latin it means,

Headed the state's role in
Religiosity,
Supervised priests and the
Vestals it seems.

From Roger L. Robison, in collection and another.

Hercules' 12th Labor

by Roger L. Robison

by Roger L. Robison

by Roger L. Robison, 2009-08-30

Sour Grapes

by G.S., Published June 1966

Higgledy-piggledy
Clementine Paddleford:
Eat and then write and then
Go eat some more.

Your writer’s cramp is all
Gastrointestinal;
Hardly like starving at
Poetry’s door.

From Esquire Magazine, June 1966 (pg. 109).

A Full Life

by H.S., Published June 1966

Higgledy-piggledy
Sybil B. Christopher
Made up a list of her
Friends to raise dough.

“Arthur” was born of this
Discothèqueologist’s
Need every night to have
Someplace to go.

From Esquire Magazine, June 1966 (pg. 109).

Bad Planning

by Eric Salzman, Published 1967

Higgledy-piggledy
Don Juan Tenorio
Tempted his girl with a
Garlic bouquet.

Stink diabolical,
Aphrodisiacal,
Put her in heat but it
Drove him away.

Quoted in Jiggery-pokery (pg. 62f.). Also quoted (slightly differently) in collection of David E. Brahm collected by Joshua W. Burton.

Pop Art

by Eric Salzman, Published 1967

Higgledy-piggledy
Robert C. Rauschenberg
Gunked up his canvas with
All kinds of glop.

“Though mixing media
Meta-linguistically
Seems to me silly I
Can’t seem to stop.”

Quoted in Jiggery-pokery (pg. 102). Also quoted (slightly differently) in collection of David E. Brahm collected by Joshua W. Burton.

Plus ça Change . . .

by Eric Salzman, Published 1967

Moishele, Moishele
Moses Maimonides,
Bowing and chanting “Bar-
Uch Adonai,”

Picked up the telephone
Anachronistically,
Ordered pastrami with
Mustard on rye.

Quoted in Jiggery-pokery (pg. 50f.). Quoted (slightly differently) in collection of David E. Brahm collected by Joshua W. Burton.

by E. William Seaman, Published 1967

Higgledy-piggledy
Arthur M. Schlesinger,
Asked, “How does Washington
Do without you?”

Answered, “It suffers from
Counterintelligence,
High on consensus, but
Low on I.Q.”

Quoted in Jiggery-pokery (pg. 101). Also quoted (slightly differently) in collection of David E. Brahm collected by Joshua W. Burton.

Sailing to Jerusalem

by E. William Seaman, Published 1967

Higgledy-piggledy
David Ben-Gurion
Said to Der Alte, “We’re
Both on the rocks.

How they ignore us is
Incomprehensible.
Pfui on youth. Have some
Bagel and lox.”

Quoted in Jiggery-pokery (pg. 104). Also quoted (slightly differently) in collection of David E. Brahm collected by Joshua W. Burton.

The Other Victoria

by E. William Seaman, Published 1967

Higgledy-piggledy
Empress Victoria
Answered when asked to give
Gladstone the nod,

“Screw that old Aryan
Parliamentarian!
Dizzy and I stand for
Britain and God.”

Quoted in Jiggery-pokery (pg. 85). Also quoted (slightly differently) in collection of David E. Brahm collected by Joshua W. Burton.

Decisions, Decisions

by E. William Seaman, Published 1967

Higgledy-piggledy
Laurence Olivier
Faced a dilemma,
As some were aware.

Heeding the dictates of
Practicability,
How can you Plowright with
Vivien there?

Quoted in Jiggery-pokery (pg. 100). Also quoted (slightly differently) in collection of David E. Brahm collected by Joshua W. Burton.

[Untitled]

by E. William Seaman, Published 1967

Higgledy-piggledy
Ludwig van Beethoven
Bored by requests for some
Music to hum,

Finally answered with
Oversimplicity,
“Here's my Fifth Symphony:
Duh, duh, duh, DUM!”

Quoted in Jiggery-pokery (pg. 70), untitled, in a footnote on another poem. quoted (slightly differently) in collection of David E. Brahm collected by Joshua W. Burton.

Frayed, Tangled Nerves

by E. William Seaman, Published 1967

Higgledy-piggledy
Madame de Pompadour
Muttered with fear, “Il faut
Chercher réfuge.”

Louis replied to her,
Characteristically,
“Tais-toi, chèrie, après
Moi, le déluge.”

Quoted in Jiggery-pokery (pg. 65). Also quoted (slightly differently) in collection of David E. Brahm collected by Joshua W. Burton.

A Soft Answer

by E. William Seaman, Published 1967

Explanations appreciated.

Quoted in Jiggery-pokery (1983 Ed., pg. 118). An (slightly different, earlier) version appears in June 1969 article of The Atlantic, also as a webpage.

SAID

by George Starbuck, June 1969

Dame Edith Evans to
Margaret Rutherford,
“Séance? Oh really, my
Dear, if there be

“Nonhypothetical
Extraterrestrial
Parapsychologists,
They can call me.”

From article in June 1969 issue of The Atlantic, also (with a slight scanning error) as a webpage.

SAID

by George Starbuck, June 1969

J. Alfred Prufrock to
Hugh Selwyn Mauberly,
“What ever happened to
Senlin? Ought-nine.”

“One with the passion for
Orientalia?”
“Rather.” “Lost track of him.”
“Pity.” “Design.”

From article in June 1969 issue of The Atlantic, also as a webpage.

SAID

by Diane Arnson Svarlien, 1995-11-03

Higgledy-Piggledy
Baucis and Philemon
Treated their visitors
Just like they should;

Now in return for their
Hyperphiloxeny
Jupiter's done all he
Could, and they're wood.

Parker suggested the title "Fun Couple".

Quoted in article by Douglass Parker.

William The Conqueror

by Susan Swatek (Games Magazine), 1987

Normandy-Normandy
William the Conqueror
channeled his strength against
Celtics and Picts.

Domesday Book sponsor and
founder of juries, he's
mainly remembered for
1066.

Quoted in the collection of Robin Pemantle and in the collection of Joel W. Robbin.

[Untitled]

by Barbara Tepper, 1998-07-01 at 09:59

Flibberty Gibberty
"Mo Pianissimo",
That's what you picked
For our fine-feathered friend?

A quiet baptismal
Is just a bit dismal..
"Muchofortissimo"
Seems more his trend.

This is Barbara Tepper's reply to another by Dick Menkes.

Quoted in email by Barbara Tepper, in collection of Alex Chaffee.

ONE-TRACK MIND

by Barbara Tepper, after Frances Kandl

Dingely, Dangely,
Freud, the psychiatrist
Shocked the whole world when he
Wrote about sex:

Claimed that symbolically,
Incontrovertibly,
One sees a phallus in
All things convex.

From email by Barbara Tepper in collection of Alex Chaffee, based on earlier work from New York Magazine.

NOSTRADAMUS

by Barbara Tepper, with Dick Menkes

Abraca Dabraca
Michel de Notredame
Studied his navel,
Foretold many things:

Prognosticating, he
Omphaloskepticly
Told three de'Medicis
They would be kings.

"Omphaloskepsis" is meditation while contemplating one's navel.

Quoted in collection of Alex Chaffee.

Equine Mentors

by Timarete Theocritos

Hoppity-Cloppity
Chiron the Centaur is
Mentor of Heracles,
Wizened and wise,

Teaching the masses, though
Perissodactylous,
Attend him carefully,
'Tisn't a disguise.

Quoted by Roger L. Robison, in collection.

The Doormouse and the Teapot

by Timarete Theocritos, 1998-09-20 at 10:41

Rabity Babity
Alice in Wonderland
followed the Rabbit then
fell down the well

and a Mad Hatter with
remissibility
offered her cookies while
ringing a bell.

Quoted by Roger L. Robison, in collection.

[Untitled]

by Alex Vaughn, 1981-04-20

Higgledy-piggledy,
Jesus of Nazareth
(Parables, miracles,
All of that jazz)

Came to us courtesy
Parthenogenesis.
Medical annals say
No one else has.

A clergyman took offense to this contest entry, and Don Hauptman (who had entered his own) composed with his ex-wife a rebuttal. More context at source.

Quoted in chronicle by Don Hauptman.

Blow Job

by Kristine G. Wallace, 1995-11-03

Higgledy-Piggledy
Loyal Paterculus
Raised high Tiberius
Conqu'ring each foe,

But he was not just a
Caesaro-sycophant--
Fawned on Sejanus with
Flattery low.

Quoted in article by Douglass Parker.

Scholarly Tumidity

by Kristine G. Wallace, 1995-11-03

Diggery-Sniggery
Snoop Suetonius,
Delved in the archives for
Scandal most high,

Twelve Caesars' sexual
Pervertabilities
Hardly affected this
Tranquillized guy.

Quoted in article by Douglass Parker.

Self Service

by Kristine G. Wallace, 1995-11-03

Higgledy-Piggledy
Gaius, slick stylist, he
Gallico Bello et
Civili de

Wrote commentarii,
Nonegotistical,
Propagandistic, still:
Caesar, not me.

Quoted in article by Douglass Parker.

Impressionism

by Christopher Wallace-Crabbe, Published 1967

Fiddlesky diddlesky
Vladimir Nabokov
Pared his perceptions down
Beautifully fine,

Firmly insisting on
UnDostoevskian
Flickers of color and
Tremors of line.

Quoted in Jiggery-pokery (pg. 95). Also quoted (slightly differently) in collection of David E. Brahm collected by Joshua W. Burton.

Point of View

by Christopher Wallace-Crabbe, Published 1967

Higgledy-piggledy
Christopher Isherwood
Looked on Berlin with a
Camera’s eye,

But when his faith became
NeoDravidian
Hollywood lenses would
Moisten and cry.

Quoted in Jiggery-pokery (pg. 99). Also quoted (slightly differently) in collection of David E. Brahm collected by Joshua W. Burton.

Anguish

by Christopher Wallace-Crabbe, Published 1967

Higgledy-piggledy
Christopher Wallace-Crabbe
Tripped over dactyls on
Tentative toes.

O, how he hankered for
Hendecasyllables,
Double sestinas or
Senecan prose!

Quoted in Jiggery-pokery (pg. 110). Also quoted (slightly differently) in collection of David E. Brahm collected by Joshua W. Burton.

A Rich, Full Life

by Christopher Wallace-Crabbe, Published 1967

Higgledy-piggledy
Father Methuselah
Set an example to
Settle our fears,

Being so splendidly
Ungeriatrically
Antediluvian
All of those years.

A footnote in the original was elided. It explained that "Father" was an epithet and mused about whether the Neanderthal poem indeed described a chronologically earlier character.

Quoted in Jiggery-pokery (pg. 38). Quoted (alightly differently) in collection of David E. Brahm collected by Joshua W. Burton.

Yin & Yang

by Christopher Wallace-Crabbe, Published 1967

Higgledy-piggledy
Herbert of Cherbury
Had a kid brother who
Took to the cloth;

They were (to speak of them
UnMetaphysically)
One a dark butterfly,
One a bright moth.

Quoted in Jiggery-pokery (pg. 61). Also quoted (slightly differently) in collection of David E. Brahm collected by Joshua W. Burton.

Appearance and Reality

by Christopher Wallace-Crabbe, Published 1967

Higgledy-piggledy
Homo Neanderthal
Coming from crowded caves
Onto the scene

Viewed all the countryside
Anthropomorphically—
Rather surrealist,
That must have been.

Quoted in Jiggery-pokery (pg. 36f.). Quoted (slightly differently and without title) in collection of David E. Brahm collected by Joshua W. Burton.

Personae, or, Who’s Who?

by Christopher Wallace-Crabbe, Published 1967

Higgledy-piggledy
Hugh Selwyn Mauberley
Chiselled some poetry—
Or was it Pound?

No one can tell for sure
But it would seem to be
Incontrovertibly
Doubly profound.

Quoted in Jiggery-pokery (pg. 91). Also quoted (slightly differently) in collection of David E. Brahm collected by Joshua W. Burton.

The Ur-Guggenheim

by Christopher Wallace-Crabbe, Published 1967

Higgledy-piggledy
Pico Mirandola
In the Academy
Works with a will;

With what a verve he gets
Neoplatonical
Since a philanthropist’s
Footing the bill!

Quoted in Jiggery-pokery (pg. 56). Also quoted (slightly differently) in collection of David E. Brahm collected by Joshua W. Burton.

[Untitled]

by Christopher Wallace-Crabbe, Published 1967

Higgledy-piggledy
Thomas Stearns Eliot
Made a whole poem to
Carry one word.

What was it now? Poly-
Philoprogenitive.
I do not like it. I
Think it absurd.

Quoted in Jiggery-pokery (pg. 93) as an untitled footnote to another poem. Also quoted (slightly differently) in collection of David E. Brahm collected by Joshua W. Burton.

1066

by Christopher Wallace-Crabbe, Published 1967

Higgledy-piggledy
William the Conqueror
Landed at Pevensey,
Solid and sly,

Thickened the native tongue
Polysyllabically,
Gave to the monarchy
One in the eye.

Quoted in Jiggery-pokery (pg. 52). Also quoted (slightly differently) in collection of David E. Brahm collected by Joshua W. Burton.

[Untitled]

by Gene Weingarten

Higgledy Piggledy
Joseph DiMaggio,
Jolted the ball but was
Jilted in bed.

Marilyn walked, but he
Necro-romantically
Laid her in rose bouquets
When she was dead.

Quoted by Penny (George J. Dance) and (slightly differently) in interview.

[Untitled]

by "Wight"

Higgledy Piggledy
Adalai Stevenson
lost it to Dwight and be-
came quite bereft.

He had his platform and
uncompromisingly
put himself just too damn
far to the left.

Quoted in replies to article about double-dactyls.

Hamiltonian multiplication

by B. Wyman (Amer. Math. Monthly), 1975

Higgeldy, Piggeldy
William R. Hamilton
stood on a bridge when he
found out the rule.

"Multiplication is
anti-commutative --
down with the precepts they
taught us in school!"

Quoted in the collection of Robin Pemantle.

Affirmative Action

Higgeldy, Piggeldy
action affirmative,
delicate rulings by
EEOC:

OK to advertise
gender-specifically,
long as the targeted
gender is "she".

Quoted in the collection of Robin Pemantle and (with a different title) in the collection of Joel W. Robbin.

DIVINE THOUGHTS

Higgledy Piggledy
Jesus of Nazareth
Proffered his followers
Candid advice:

"Peripatetical
Peregrinations on
Water are practical
Only on ice."

Barbara Tepper says she may have edited this one.

New York Magazine via quote in email by Barbara Tepper in collection of Alex Chaffee.

the integration of Yale

Higgledy-piggledy
Yale University
gave up misogyny,
opened its door.

Extracurricular
heterosexual
coeducational
fun is in store.

Quoted in the collection of Robin Pemantle and in the collection of Joel W. Robbin.

X-RATED READING

Jiggery Pokery
Clifford, Lord Chatterly
Cuckold and invalid,
Easy to con...

Toy-maker Ptolemy
made up a universe.
Nine crystal yo-yos he
spun on one string.

After some games with its
Epicyclicity,
He was convinced he could
balance the thing.

Quoted in collection of David E. Brahm collected by Joshua W. Burton without an author.